I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
