I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
