I wanna bring you to show and tell
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
