My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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