I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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