did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
