Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize
