Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
