I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
