On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
wow bdsm is so cute
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
