Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
