so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
