love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
