I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
