CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
