I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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