when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
