somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
