think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
