She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
