I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
this hospital has no fireball
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
