using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
