tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
