addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
