so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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