i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
