I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Acid is not a monday night drug
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
