He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
