birth control should be required to get into college
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
