Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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