Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
