Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
