just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
