Hey man sorry I got all grabby
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
