I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
