At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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