Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
