He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
