thus making me awesome and them whores
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
