Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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