its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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