3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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