I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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