She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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