This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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