god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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