why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
