i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
