Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
