Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
