have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
