I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
vagina is talking i cant
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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