you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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