Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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